that one time my friend made the mistake of dragging me to church and they started handing out small cups of the communion wine and as my friend took a drink I whispered ’shots shots shotsshotsshots shots’ and she almost choked

My pancake game run strong son, fuck whatcha heard

There are two things in this world that are forever

Diamonds

And herpes

just to let you know how seriously I take college this is my student profile available to everyone with a simple name search

just to let you know how seriously I take college

this is my student profile

available to everyone with a simple name search

Asked by Anonymous Anonymous

What about Australia? Australians are hot and have an accent too.

…..like my black ass is going to australia

have you seen

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the crazy shit

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that lives

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in mother 

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fucking

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australia

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FUQ DAT NOISE WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT TO BE THERE FOR

Let me tell you a story

So there was this guy that I had a huge crush on in high school but I gave up because he was just way too attractive for me. All the adorable little white girls wanted him and I didn’t stand a chance.

Well guess who just booty called me

Dreams do come true

Jokes about my ex-boyfriend part 2

Me: Ugh, my new dude doesn't really understand the magic of typing in all caps.
Meg: Mine neither. wE SHOULD TEACH THEM.
Me: Yeah, I taught Link!
Meg: Yeah, and he didn't even go to elementary school
Me: I know, how hard could it--
Meg: or theY WOULD HAVE TAUGHT HIM HOW NOT TO STEAL.
Me: oh mY GOHDBDFKLHSHFSKLHFDSIDT

Jokes about my ex-boyfriend

Meg: So when do we get to meet your new boyfriend?
Me: never
Meg: what? why!?
Me: I dont want to lead him down the path of temptation
Meg: whaTS SO TEMPTING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS
Me: Oh, I dont know, mayBE YOUR LAPTOPS

So Im looking up that really cute guy from The Perks of Being a Wallflower

look at this cutie

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lets see what other movies hes in!

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huh that sounds familiar lets just click that an—

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wait…..whAT

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BUT?????? 

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“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” 

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” 

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY